Charity.

I'm torn.

As I was walking home, headphones on, walking quickly as it was so cold, a man approached me asking something. I took my headphones off and stopped to ask him to repeat himself. He asked for some change.

I told him I was sorry, but I had no cash on me. He asked again, 'it's for the phone'. 'I am sorry, I've got no change' I repeated.

He then proceeded to get a bit aggressive with me, he came up close and raised his voice. Like he's entitled to my money, and I was being unreasonable not giving him any. I repeated, again, that I really didn't have any cash, and I walked on, putting my headphones on and walking away. He did shout something after me but thanks to Silverchair I didn't hear him.

Now. I actually didn't have any cash, but that's completely besides the point. I don't like feeling forced or guilt tripped into giving money. Blablabla. I give a lot of my time to a charity of my choice, and I'll always donate pennies etc to the charity boxes in shops. I don't want to be approached and asked for money. If I'm approached in the street by people asking for donations (I don't mean beggars - by charity representatives) I always say I'd love to - but I only have a Swedish bank account so unfortunately I can't. A white lie - I don't want to give out my bank details on the bloomin' street. It is, incidentally, a nice way of getting people to tell me they love me. It's often the only sentence charity fundraisers (especially in Nottingham?!) can say in Swedish.

I digress.

So, one part of me is annoyed and frustrated at being approached by someone asking for change. Not at being approached per se - but at being hassled.

The other part... well, I don't think people would do it if they weren't desperate. It doesn't really matter if this guy was actually wanting change for the phone or if he wanted it for drugs - it was obvious he was desperate for 50p. Or however much he was asking for.

I don't know.

Charities struggle. People struggle. I don't know and don't care if it's because of a recession, because of people letting themselves get into debt or hooked on drugs. The point is, they're struggling. And I'm all for helping people but I believe it needs to be done through the appropriate channels. If nothing else to stop people being taken advantage of.

You see it everywhere. People are so vulnerable and blind, especially where love is involved. I worked with someone who was a complete pushover at the mercy of her son - she was cajoled into babysitting several times a week so that the son & girlfriend could go out. And of course, she loves her grandkids so she does it. And she doesn't moan. But she was being treated so badly - taken for granted. I'm not sure how that relates to the previous paragraphs exactly but nevermind.

I had an idea - partly thanks to Nathan - as I do flexi time, I could technically work 8-6 four days a week and have one day off to focus on house work + my charity work. I may run this past my boss. Not sure it would be allowed though!

I know most (all?) people who read this are people I speak to on a nearly daily basis. So you're allowed to skip ahead a bit! But I just want to brag a bit. Or, brag is wrong. Basque in my own glory? No. Let you all know...? Nah, brag pretty much covers it.

You know that dissertation I was worried about? I got 80%. Am going to work together with my supervisor to get it published in the International Journal of Speech, Language and the Law. I think I have a pretty good chance anyway, but if it does get published I'll def get onto the MSc Forensic Speech Sciences in York for 2008. VERY excited!

Mike and I have now booked tickets to visit Sweden, 26 July-13 Aug. Very cheap tickets, but the 13th is such an annoying date - Joanna's and Mum's birthdays are just after that, but the Silverchair concert in Manch is on the 12th!! I don't know. I've been wanting to see Silverchair since I was 13, they just haven't toured Europe since then. And now they're here and I'm not going! Although they are playing in Nottingham on the 13th... Daz, could we stay at yours?! Pretty please! Lol.

Anyhoo, it'll be Mike's visit to the lovely Sweden. Any suggestions on where I should take him? We are going down to my summer house in Blekinge (or here) for about a week, but apart from that...? Tom Tits is a must - is anything there adult sized by the way? Grona Lund as well. Probably a boat trip in the archipelago... Can you tell I'm very excited? I just want to share all this with him...

Just because: I've been told SOMEONE is going to South Africa to volunteer for a few months, wow!! Just hope I get to see you before you go!

So now, with only one exam left of my university career (well, for now) I'm feeling strangely calm. Probably because I'm pretty confident about Stylistics (knocks wood) but also becuase there's nothing I can do to change my Creative Writing mark. And the 80% didn't exactly upset me either. Haha.

Now I'm bored, so am going to eat bread and watch Crossing Jordan. (It isn't very good, but don't tell anyone!)

xx